


Forever For Now

by windsorblue



Category: Banana Fish
Genre: First Time, M/M, mild spoilers for up to Chapter 50 of the manga. Italicized text at the beginning is from Chapter 50
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2005-08-07
Updated: 2005-08-07
Packaged: 2018-04-13 22:46:03
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,272
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4540302
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/windsorblue/pseuds/windsorblue
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>- answering the request of <a class="i-ljuser-profile" href="http://stormcloude.livejournal.com/profile"><img class="i-ljuser-userhead"/></a><a class="i-ljuser-username" href="http://stormcloude.livejournal.com/">stormcloude</a>, who asked for: <i>Ash and Eiji's first time.</i></p>
            </blockquote>





	Forever For Now

rating: NC-17  
warnings: lemon, first time, mild spoilers for up to Chapter 50 of the manga. Italicized text at the beginning is from Chapter 50 of the manga.  
author's notes/Summary: - answering the request of [](http://stormcloude.livejournal.com/profile)[](http://stormcloude.livejournal.com/)**stormcloude** , who asked for: _Ash and Eiji's first time._

 

_"But one thing, never forget. Even if the whole world against you, I am always on your side. I will be with you. If you don't mind, of course."_

_"...You mean I have to keep eating those lousy sandwiches?"_

_"Yes, be happy! My tofu sandwich is 'perfect food'. Nutrition! You will be very healthy."_

_"Stay with me. I won't ask 'forever'. Just for now, Eiji."_

_"Forever."_

When Ash awoke the next morning to find Eiji asleep next to him, curled around him like a protective familiar, something inside him shivered. To wake up to that only made the yearning - for normalcy, for Eiji, for anything but the underbelly of New York City - all the more sharp, a razor blade cut along an arterial vein. He would bleed for Eiji, this much he knew, this much he'd already proven; but he couldn't ask for a return of the favor.

So he climbed out of bed, slipped on the glasses he wore supposedly for reading but really to remind people that there was a whip-deadly mind in that pretty little head of his, turned on his computer and set to work. When Eiji awoke he acted like a jerk, because that was the best thing for both of them.

...wasn't it?

Ash could hear Eiji in the kitchen, swearing about him in Japanese while he set the coffee to heat, and he couldn't help but smile. Yeah, Eiji - I'm a rat-fucking-bastard. Don't act like I never warned you.

When Eiji came back, a warm mug in his hands, Ash looked up and gave him a devilish grin. "Call me that word, whatever the hell it was, a few more times - it sounds cute coming off your tongue."

Eiji made an exasperated noise as he set the mug down on the desk. With just that noise and nary a word to go with it, he whirled Ash's chair around to face him, pulled the glasses off his face and laid them down - precisely and carefully - next to the coffee mug, grabbed him by the hair and kissed him.

Ash made a muffled sound - half-surprise, half-protest - and then gave it up and let Eiji's lips melt him. It was the kind of kiss that made a man's toes warm, a lot of promises wrapped up inside it, and with a start Ash remembered that he wasn't going to ask for forever. He brought his hand up to Eiji's chest and gently, firmly, pushed him away.

"Ash...?" Eiji's eyes were slow to open. His mouth stayed as it was - with lips parted, kiss-ready - for a long second before he caught Ash's breath backing off. He reached out then, clutching at Ash's shirt. "Ash, what...?"

"Eiji." Ash's voice was penitent, like a whisper in a confessional. "You shouldn't do that. You don't understand."

"I did not kiss correctly?"

Ash let out a soft snort and shook his head. "No, that's not it."

Eiji sat back a bit, down to haunches and knees, Ash's shirt still crumpled in his fist. His voice, however, betrayed more than a hint of annoyance. "You kiss me," he began. "I am not allowed to kiss you as well?"

"Eiji, stop - you don't understand..."

"This is correct - I do not understand. Why are you permitted to kiss me but I am not permitted to kiss you?"

An exasperated noise passed Ash's lips. "It's not like that."

"What is it like, then?"

With strong hands, Ash pried Eiji's fingers loose from his shirt. "You know what it's like. You've seen it. Hell, you've seen more of it than I ever wanted you to."

"Ash..." Eiji snatched up Ash's hand in both of his. "I have no wish to be a liability to you."

"I don't think of you as a liability, Eiji. I just - "

"Let me finish," Eiji demanded quietly.

Ash swallowed his next words, nodding just once.

"I also think that I am not a liability to you, but that you have told yourself so. You have decided that I must be protected from your world, perhaps even from you. But Ash - I too am a man. I am able to protect myself. You and I, we can protect each other, if you would just allow it to be so."

Ash looked down, at his hand clasped in Eiji's grip - surrounded in him, in this naked truth of it. "Dino's not going to go easy on me - you'll get screwed just by association. He'll use you to get to me if he gets the chance."

"I am not afraid of Dino."

"You should be." Ash twisted his hand out of Eiji's grip, pushed past him as he stood up. "Don't be an idiot."

"Are you afraid of Dino, Ash?"

Ash stopped, stock-still, his back to Eiji. He looked over his shoulder and said, "I'm gonna kill Dino. He's a dead man."

Eiji stayed right where he was, unwavering. "That is not an answer."

"Stupid - you can't be afraid of someone you're gonna kill."

"You are." Eiji stood, took a step closer.

Ash turned, facing him. "Shut up," he said in a low, dangerous voice.

"You are afraid of Dino." Eiji took another step, and then another. "He has frightened you with all he has done, with what he did to Shorter..."

Quick as a cat, Ash closed the distance between them. Eiji's arm was tight in his grasp, fingers around bicep. "You don't understand what that man is capable of," he hissed. "You think you've seen the worst of what he can do? You ain't seen shit yet, Eiji! You want what happened to Shorter to happen to you next? You want it to happen to me?"

"It will not," Eiji countered, his voice quiet and sure.

"You don't know that!" Ash spat, his grip tightening.

"I know it, yes, because I know you, and I know myself. I know that you will not let anything happen to me, and I know that I will not let anything happen to you." Eiji's hand moved up to Ash's chest, to the back of his neck. "Ash..." He leaned in, just a touch, licking his lips. Mouth brushed against mouth, whisper-gentle, and then Ash's arms were around Eiji in a powerful grip. Tender became hungry, mouths opening and tongues tasting, two strong sets of hands tugging, closer, never close enough. They breathed in quick gulps of air, gasps between kisses, and before Ash realized he'd been steadily stepping backwards and bringing Eiji with him, his knees were bumping against the bed.

"We shouldn't be doing this," Ash began, his voice a gasp.

"I want to," Eiji insisted. He pushed Ash down, onto his back, and climbed over him. His hand covered Ash's growing erection and squeezed. "Do you say that you do not want to?"

Ash groaned, his hips ratcheting up against his will. "I didn't say that - I said we shouldn't."

Eiji's hand began to move, slow-stroking, his palm flat. "Why should we not?"

"You don't know what you're asking for, Eiji. You don't know what you're doing..."

"You can show me." Eiji shifted, kneeling over Ash's thighs, and began unbuttoning his jeans. "I want you to show me."

As Eiji's hand slipped into the denim, underneath the waistband of his boxers, Ash ground out, "I don't want to take advantage of you..."

At that Eiji stopped, his expression pointed and his fist around the crown of Ash's cock. "Ash, I do not think you are the one taking advantage of me." He squeezed, once, just to prove his point.

"Eiji, stop...I..." Ash encircled Eiji's wrists with his fingers, and when he squeezed, Eiji squeezed as well. "Oh, God..."

Eiji let him go then, moved back and stood up at the side of the bed. He pulled his shirt off over his head and let it drop to the floor. "I know, Ash, that I am not as experienced as you. I know that you have had sex before, many times." He unbuttoned his pants and undid the zipper, each tooth of it echoing in the room. "I know that not all of them have been good memories for you." He pushed them over his hips and wriggled until they slipped down his legs. "But Ash, I have no others to remember. I have no bad memories to bury. I am - what do you call it - a clean slate." He stepped out of the pants, nudged them aside with his foot, and stood naked before Ash, offering and absolution all in one. "You can start over. With me, you can begin again."

Ash sat there for a long moment, just breathing and watching. And then, with a tiny, unexpectedly sweet smile, he took his own shirt off and tossed it to the floor. He flopped onto his back and raised his hips off the bed, tugging his jeans off all the way, kicking them away from his feet. Then he sat back up, braced on one elbow, and held out his free hand. "C'mere."

Eiji smiled back and knelt on the mattress. He took Ash's hand, let Ash pull him the rest of the way down, into his embrace. Lips met again, hard, insistent kisses that stole breath and made promises. They rolled on the bed, Ash flipping Eiji onto his back, taking the control Eiji was willing to give. Hips and hands, grinding, moving together, touching everywhere they could - Ash pinned Eiji's against the mattress as he trailed his tongue down Eiji's body; Eiji worked them free to thread his fingers into Ash's golden hair. Ash's mouth engulfed the head of Eiji's cock, eliciting a guttural shout that made Ash smile. He slid down that much more, tasting Eiji, taking him in and sucking hard. Eiji squirmed beneath him, panting and cursing in broken Japanese.

Ash let Eiji's erection slip free from his lips, scooting forward to rest his hand on Eiji's stomach and his chin on his hand. He watched, enraptured, as Eiji caught his breath enough to look down at him. "Why do you stop?" His voice was thick with passion and desperation.

"I want to fuck you, Eiji."

"Is this not what we were doing before you stopped?"

Ash chuckled softly and shifted. "Roll over, onto your side." Eiji did, and Ash moved to the nightstand, pulling out a condom and a bottle of lubricant out of the drawer. He rolled the condom onto his cock, turning towards Eiji as he did, resting a hand on his hip. "Are you sure?"

Watching him over his shoulder, Eiji gave him another pointed look. "If you must ask this now, then you are not as smart as you think you are."

Ash laughed again, coating his fingers, pressing them against Eiji's entrance. "Yeah, okay. I'll stop asking." His index finger slipped inside with just a bit of resistance, and Eiji groaned in a low, breathy voice. He watched, rapt, over his shoulder, as Ash worked his finger inside of him. Each thrust of Ash's finger made noises pour forth from Eiji's throat - soft grunts and sucked-in breaths - noises that Ash couldn't get enough of, so he pressed another finger in, and then another. When Eiji's grunts became high-pitched whines - pleas for more, faster, _there_ \- Ash pulled his fingers out and replaced them with his cock, slow-pressing in. His left arm slipped under Eiji, around his waist, holding him steady and pulling him closer, hand splayed against Eiji's stomach. Eiji's left hand covered his, threading fingers, and his right moved up around Ash's head, grabbing at his hair. Eiji's leg moved up over Ash's thigh, foot hooked over Ash's calf, holding tight as Ash began to move inside him.

Ash's right hand moved to encircle Eiji's cock, rough strokes matched by rough words in Eiji's ear. Eiji squirmed and rocked, bucking against Ash, begging and pulling Ash's hair. Ash quickened his pace and his strokes, whispering, "Come on, Eiji - let it go. It feels good, doesn't it? I know you want to come. Let me see you come, Eiji. Let me see it happen." Eiji let out one last loud cry as he spilled, his come coating Ash's fingers, and within seconds Ash was coming too, holding onto Eiji as tightly as he could, all but sobbing into Eiji's shoulder with the force of his orgasm.

The next thing to puncture Ash's awareness was Eiji's tongue on his fingers, cleaning his own come from them. He chuckled, low and dark, against Eiji's neck. "You kinky little bastard."

Eiji almost blushed, but not quite. "It is as I tell you, Ash - I too am a man. I do not have your experience, but I do have my imagination."

Ash laughed out loud then and clutched Eiji even tighter. "Tastes better than tofu sandwiches, anyway."

\--

It was almost two hours later when Ash sat down on the bed again, brushing Eiji's hair back from his face until he stirred.

"You're going?" Eiji asked, sleepy but alert.

Ash nodded. "I have an idea. It's like you said - about clean slates and fresh starts. You gave me an idea for one."

Eiji smiled. "Will it work?"

Ash shrugged. "Probably. Be here when I get back?"

"Forever."

Ash shivered, yet he most assuredly wasn't cold. "Not forever, just for now."

"Forever, Ash." And when Eiji said it like that, it seemed like a certainty.  



End file.
